I have to say that I often feel vulnerable. Mostly because of struggles that play out in my mind. Fear. Worry. Doubt.
I try not to focus on these things, but they creep in when my eyes turn away from heaven. It becomes easy for me to focus on the things that I don’t have or haven’t accomplished. Instead of trusting, I fret.
This morning, God gently reminded me. (He just keeps doing that…. again and again).
“Worship me in the beauty of my holiness.” from Jesus Calling, November 7.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness
“I am working my way in you. My main work is to clear out the [trash] making room for My Spirit inside of you. Work with me by being willing to let go of anything I choose to take away. I know what you need, and I have promised to provide all of that- abundantly. Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or things going your way.” **
Wow. This blew me out of the water this morning. Because, the truth is, we still haven’t found a car to drive. Yesterday we met with an excellent Zarma teacher. In a few months I could really be speaking Zarma. If only I had the $2,000 it would take to pay the teacher.
I fret. Worry. I complain to God. I hound my husband to get things accomplished that I feel I can’t. I don’t trust. I try to regain control. I let worry overtake my mind.
God watches me. Patiently.
I think I know what I Pokies need. I forget that he is King. On the throne in heaven. I am not.
The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord is enthroned as King forever.
The Lord gives strength to his people.
The Lord blesses his people with peace.
“I am training you to depend on me alone, finding fulfillment in my presence. This entails being satisfied with much or little accepting either as my will for the moment. Instead of grasping and controlling you are learning to release and receive. Cultivate this receptive response by trusing me in every situation.” **
And so I pray and wait and trust. Thank you God. I want to trust and depend on you. Help me, King. I have never been in want of the things I need. I thank you for being my faithful provider. I repent of the times that I have coveted and not trusted. Forgive me and help me to trust you. Work in my life today. You are so holy and beautiful, faithful friend. You are more than enough for me. You make all things new. I am here because I want to obey you and serve you. I choose this life of adventure. I trust you.
I had another post planned for today, but after reading facebook statuses from my friends this morning, this thing that God is teaching me felt more important. I pray for those of you who feel angry, confused, and disappointed that you will join me in trusting the King who sits on the throne. Whatever makes us feel worried and afraid belongs to him. He has known what will happen in our lives before time began. Trust. He will provide for your needs.
** All quotes from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. November 7, p.326