For about a week now I have been feeling the need to dust off this space and make it new again. So many of you, my faithful readers, have been content with my lack of posts. You know, as I have said before, that I find my American life much less blog worthy.
I was struck this week, however, with how much I love my life here just as much as life in Africa. And now that I have recovered from the reverse culture shock of feeling that things here are too luxurious for broadcast, I am able to enjoy the every day beauty in my days without feeling guilty. You see, even though by American standards, our three bedroom apartment is nothing big, the wall to wall carpet and central air feel very luxurious by my African standards. And I know my “African friends” both expats and natives are checking this space from time to time.
We have settled in now.
I wish this space could hold an album of pictures entitled “Hope At Work.” Unfortunately for you, privacy laws limit my photo taking abilities. Every day I am thankful for the opportunity to interact with children who are like me and unlike in so many ways. We dance and sing and work and play and celebrate each other. They fill me up with praises. Just today I got, “Mrs. Johansson you have a BEAUTIFUL singing voice.” and “Mrs. Johansson I really like your boots.” That combined with about a million hugs and the satisfaction I feel when they “get” what I am teaching fill my heart up every day.
And I know that if this was the life I was called to lead forever I would be happy.
But it’s not.
I dream of Africa.
I dream of other children. They look a lot like the ones in my fancy public school classroom. Except for their clothes and their language and their experience. I am ready. Ready to go. Ready to work in a place that is dirty and hot. A place I find confusing and hard.
Yesterday Dave showed me climbed up on the bed. At the end my face was covered in tears. I turned to Sam and said, “That’s what I want to do Sam. That’s what I’m called to do. And that’s why we can’t stay here in America.” Sam said, “Are we going to take care of kids in Uganda?” I smiled through my tears (He knows about Uganda from his Auntie Laura.) “No, our family is called to take care of kids in Niger.”
We are taking steps in that direction. Getting excited. Just today we got some very great news and an open door to keep moving forward with our plan.
And so, I am going to document our days again. And tell you the story of our life here with hopes that it becomes the story of our life there.
I have walked a hard path these last few months. The Lord has definitely held my hand through some very tough physical struggles ending in an emergency D&C (surgery) last week. He is my protector, and I am so thankful that I was in America for all of this. And now I am ready to look around and enjoy my life. Our plans have changed. We were hoping to be having a baby this spring or this summer. We are not.
But I can honestly say that I trust Him, and I am totally fine with His plan. It is different from my own. He is in control and I am not. Admittedly this attitude has taken some time to get to. There have been moments of physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. Today when I look around at my life, my boys, my husband, my now I can honestly say, “It’s going to be a really great year!”
Thank you so much to all of you are invested in me and in us. I have really been floored by it all. One Sunday after my September post a friend at church approached Dave with concern. “Hope hasn’t posted for a week! How is she?” I feel loved.
It’s going to be a really great year. More posts to come. Thanks for reading!